Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca... (maynardsong) wrote,
Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca...

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I laugh to keep from crying

Tell me Ms. Salmansohn, am I a feminist or a feminine-ist?
True story: My friend David got mugged at a bank machine by a beautiful, leggy, sexy woman.

So that's how I sign up to this feminine-ism stuff, is it? Doll myself up then mug a guy? OK then!

Somewhere along the line, to be a feminist started to mean a woman who's basically unattractive both in looks and spirit.

Well, all my struggling with the way I look since the time I hit puberty - before that, really - all makes sense now! I'm unattractive! I suppose it's unattractive not to laugh at rape jokes or something.

Women could truly benefit from finding a more inspiring word than "feminism" to stand by, as well as stand for, when seeking to become our most powerful and successful selves.

How about Angelina Jolie?

Whenever I do take the time to tap into "feminine-ism"—this energy of simply being by indulging in a meditative and self-nurturing manicure, a facial or a hot bubble bath—that's when I feel my most powerful.

Well I don't have a guy around to...
what? oh...oh right, THAT facial. Whoops. No time for that either though. Well that's that then, I'm officially a dude. And since I feel bad that my showers waste enough water as they are, and thus I'm loathe to take a bath, and I don't want to do manicures...

Another good thing about bandying about words like "feminine-ist" and "feminine-ism"? Men can join in the bandying!
With the word "feminism," it might have been embarrassing for a man to say he was a supporter because it might sound like he was admitting to supporting of a group of controlling, bitchy women.

Because that's what we are, controlling. That's how I've kept every man in my life in line and subservient to me... o wait. Oh also: it's embarrassing for a man to be a feminist? Tell that to Allan Johnson, Jackson Katz, Michael Kimmel, Hugo Schwyzer, Al Franken, Stephen Colbert, Jon Stewart, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, Matt Groening, the dudes who created Mad Men and the re-imagined Battlestar Galactica...yeah.

I can definitely envision my fiancé proudly calling himself a "feminine-ist" because he's in touch with both his feminine and masculine sides, and he loves when I am able to tap into this dynamic duo of sexiness and powerfulness in myself.

Aha! So sexiness is feminine and powerfulness is masculine. OK then. So I suppose this fine male specimen is actually a chick. OK. Also, Wonderwoman is androgynous. So was my first lover. Or something.

It seems that America has been fighting against the perception of being feminine for a while now—wanting to appear tough and strong, and afraid of appearing weak by admitting a need for help. If you compare America to countries in the East, you'll see what I mean. If America were to be personified, it would definitely be a real guy's guy—running around, talking loudly, smacking you on the back in greeting, occasionally belching—a lovable, rambunctious guy's guy.

Uh, yeah, I'm pretty sure feminists are out trying to CHANGE that right now.

Now, imagine a country like India personified. It would embrace more feminine qualities like stillness, meditativeness and spirituality.

And yet, it's downright dangerous to be born female there. Just sayin'.

All of us—both men and women—need to consciously try to get in better touch with our feminine energies.

What IS it with all the gender binary? Aiyaiyai.
Tags: feminism, gender, snark, stereotypes

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