My life in words

ho says she there's my cap


(no subject)
Tiana
maynardsong
Pick 10 artists you like BEFORE answering the questions. (I’ve done something similar before, but I like answering these things, haha.)

1. The Neighbourhood
2. Walk the Moon
3. Arctic Monkeys
4. Meg Myers
5. The Decemberists
6. Tori Amos
7. Avenged Sevenfold
8. A Perfect Circle
9. Depeche Mode
10. Tool

Um, I just realize that I listen to a LOT more male artists than female? Oops.

What was the first song you ever heard by
6?
Carnival, off the MI2 soundtrack

What is your favorite song of 8?
Acoustic version of 3 Libras

What kind of impact has 1 left on your life?
I just really like their sound, and I've played their music during sexytimes with two different men. And I saw them live, and I'm attracted to their lead singer. This is the first band I discovered with a frontman younger than myself.

What is your favorite lyric of 5?

Consider it your debt repaid.

How many times have you seen 4 live?
Never, I only discovered her like last week.

What is your favorite song by 7?
A Little Piece of Heaven.

Is there any song by 3 that makes you sad?
Not really. One for the Road is the darkest, I suppose.

What is your favorite song by 9?
Flies on the Windscreen

When did you first get into 2?
Not sure. I heard Anna Sun on DC101 in May 2012, and it would play frequently for a month, then just stopped.

How did you get into 3?
I heard Do I Wanna Know on DC101.

What is your favorite song by 4?
Desire.

How many times have you seen 9 live?
Never.

What is a good memory concerning 2?
Driving while listening to Next in Line, occasionally reminiscing about lovers.

Is there a song by 8 that makes you sad?
Yes. Several. Darkness is kind of their modus operandi so.

What is your favorite song of 1?
Baby Came Home, Lurk, Flawless

How did you become a fan of 10?
Originally just because I heard Schism on the radio, but I downloaded ALL their stuff illegally and liked the sound.
Tags: ,

play idea: Sleeping Beauty
cute
maynardsong
Yes, this is ripe for accusations of being derivative of Maleficent. It's derivative of that the way Hoodwinked is derivative of Shrek. Make of that what you will. I'm still wrestling with where this will lie on the sliding scale of wide eyed, dewy-eyed idealism versus dark cynicism.

Dramatis Personae (in order of appearance):

Narrator
King Ajax
Queen Vesta, his wife
Princess Stelmaria (age 12, age 16, age 21), their daughter and only child, later Queen Regnant
Maleficent (juvenile, adolescent, adult)
Lucius, manservant to Maleficent
Roland, the Ostler and Stelmaria's husband and Prince Consort
Aurora, Stelmaria's and Roland's daughter
Thalia, Stelmaria's handmaiden and Aurora's wet nurse
Florizella, Sitara, Charmian, good fairies and caretakers of Aurora
Prince Hyacinthus
Members of the King's Army

All right, let's talk about THAT scene in the Divergent movie
cute
maynardsong
I've been stewing on this for a fortnight now, ever since I watched the Divergent movie. Spoilers ahoy, obviously.
[Spoiler (click to open)]
So Divergent is a post apocalyptic Chicago divided into five "factions" - Abnegation, Amity, Erudite, Candor, and Dauntless. They're living communities based on valued traits. Abengation, where our heroine, Tris, grows up, is all about altruism and austerity. Sexual pleasure, just like every other kind of pleasure, is frowned upon 'cause it's selfish.
When a kid's around sixteen, they choose the community they want to live in, and it need not be the one where they grew up. Tris chooses Dauntless, which is all about being daring, and getting adrenaline rushes. Those guys there have more liberal attitudes towards sex, naturally. Tris starts lusting after a guy, Four. She has all these sexual feelings that she doesn't know what the fuck to do with. That scares her. Her fear is of intimacy at large. And that's what shows up in this simulation she undergoes wherein you go through all your fears. She overcomes that fear by saying to Head!Four, "LOL we are NOT popping our cherries in a hallucination of all places." She kisses Head!Four and then the simulation ends.
In the book there is ALSO an exchange between Tris and Four that amounts to Tris saying, "Well I'm nervous 'cause I'm a virgin unlike you" and Four replies, "Well, actually, I'm a virgin too." I found that incredibly refreshing. They never actually go all the way in the book but it was nice to see someone avert the trope of "A Man Is Not A Virgin", and to be privy to a female character's internal monologue that includes sexual desire, you know?

Enter the film. In the film, during Tris and Four's first kiss, Tris abruptly says, "I want to take it slow." Which in and of itself is fine, but I'm so over this framework wherein guys are horny and girls rein the guys' sex drives in. I'm so NHFT, especially because in the book, her internal monologue reveals that she herself is horny. But that's the least of my problems with the book to film changes. The main offender is the change they made to Tris' simulation of fears. It's no longer intimacy (which was consensual in the book). Instead it's of Tris and Four kissing then Four forces Tris on the bed and attempts to rape her. She overcomes the fear by kicking him in the nuts. They added a hallucinatory rape that WAS NOT ORIGINALLY IN THE BOOK. And just all around perpetuating the man as aggressor, woman as gatekeeper framework of sex, which is part and parcel of rape culture.

Some people thought it was wonderful that Movie!Tris asserted her agency by fighting off the Four in her simulation. I'm glad they could take away something positive from that scene. Truly I am. But honestly, the story of a chaste girl who defends her sexual purity is quite old. How many 90s sitcoms had episodes about girls putting the brakes on their dates getting too hot and heavy?


Oh well. At least Theo James is a beautiful man.

Spanglish: a recap
cute
maynardsong
Paz Vega plays a super duper gorgeous Mexican single mother named Flor Moreno who's all curves and softness and sexiness and femininity and immigrates to California with her daughter Cristina. Flor clings really hard to her Mexican roots, and wants Cristina to do the same. So much so that Flor just refuses outright to learn English.

Meanwhile, Adam Sandler plays a talented chef who has the misfortune to be married to bitch-shrew-harridan Deborah (henceforth dubbed BSH). Look at BSH! Note her lack of redeeming qualities, audience! And she's ugly too, audience, did you see that too? And she has the chutzpah to care about her own orgasm during sex! What a bitch amirite? And haha, she needs to work so hard to be fit, but she still fails to be anywhere close to as hot as Flor! Repeat after me, audience, BSH does not deserve anything but the most vitriolic of haterade! Got it? Good.

And BSH hires Flor to be her housekeeper. BSH is a shitty mom to her own kids, but she's nice to Cristina, who has made friends with her daughter that she's not so nice to. This is not a pet the dog moment. Remember, audience, BSH. No sympathy, no redeeming qualities. BSH introduces Cristina to the head of a prestigious private school, and Cristina makes a good impression, and that school is prepared to give her a full ride.

But hey, education is evil because you'll assimilate and won't be a maid just like your mother, so Flor is absolutely right to object to Cristina's attending this school. Cristina shouldn't have an education, she should be stuck in the working class just like mother! Also, she shouldn't be friends with white people at all or something. It's traitorous to her cultural heritage, of course. Adam Sandler is sympathetic and Flor bites the bullet and learns English for his sake. And they engage in chaste sexual tension-building by trashing the private school that Cristina has just been enrolled in because it has a challenging geometry class that Adam Sandler's and BSH's daughter is taking, and academic rigor is evil.

Then Cristina has a sleepover after school at BSH's house with BSH's daughter, rather than spend time with the extended family of the Morenos. And this makes Flor unhinged righteously indignant and is the catalyst to pulling Cristina out of the really prestigious school that was prepared to give her a FULL RIDE. Flor has an affectionate parting with everybody except BSH, who actually wanted to extend an olive branch to Flor, but remember audience, BSH is a bitch and a shrew and a harridan and deserves no warmth whatsoever.

Cristina is rightfully angry about Flor's pulling her out of the private school that was prepared to give her a full goddam ride, but that lasts for about five minutes, until Flor says, "What do you want in life? Do you want to become different from me?" "If not being willing to piss away an educational opportunity in the name of ~staying true to my culture~ amounts to being different from you, then yes, I do want to become different from you," Cristina does NOT reply. Nope, instead, mother and daughter kiss and make up and no mention is made that Flor just threw her daughter's education under the bus because of her stupid cultural hubris.

This entire trainwreck of a plot is an all grown up Cristina's application essay to Princeton, and she concludes with, "So admissions with a scholarship is all well and good, but it won't define me. I'm my mother's daughter first and foremost."

I'm incoherent with rage at this movie. It is the most misogynist and racist drivel I've ever had the misfortune to have to show in the Spanish class I'm subbing in. Plus...it wasn't in Spanish, it was in English. We could have watched Real Women Have Curves. America Ferrara is a Spanish-speaking immigrant who's fierce and asserts herself. My parents ARE immigrants who care deeply about not losing touch with the motherland. You know how they WOULDN'T express their loyalty to their roots? Pulling me out of a prestigious school that's ready to give me a full goddam ride. Seriously, what the FUCK kind of message was that? I'm supposed to sympathize with that idiot and hate on the woman who made it possible for Cristina to get a good educational opportunity?

I NEVER take the side of the rich white lady. Ever. And here I just did. That is some spectacular failure.

media rant
cute
maynardsong
Just ONCE. ONCE. Portray nursing as something normal and G-rated, and not just ~super West coast latte liberal~ types? Or something to gawp and/or get a boner over?

(no subject)
Tiana
maynardsong
Apparently they're going to start naming blizzards? I heard something or other like that on the TV. And those names are going to be Greek and Roman. So here's my list.

Athena
Boreas (super fitting)
Ceres
Daedalus
Electra
Festus
Gaea (super fitting)
Hyperion
Iris
Jason
Khione (super fitting)
Liber
Mrs. O'Leary (you see what I did there?)
Nereus
Otrera
Porphyrion
Rhea
Silenus
Thetis
Virgil
Zoe


Arion
Bellona
Charon
Demeter
Enobarbus
Fortuna
Gaius
Hippolyta
Icarus
Juno
Kronos
Laertes
Midas
Nemesis
Orestes
Penthisilea
Regulus
Scylla
Tantalus
Vesta
Zeus

(no subject)
Tiana
maynardsong
01. do you like your poptarts toasted or cold?
Toasted

02. what's your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
Lol wut

03. do you like sitting in the front, back, or middle of the classroom?
Middle

04. what color is the last rug you stepped on?
White

05. who was the very first person you sent a text message to?
Actually, I think he's also the first lover I had. Damn.

06. do you ever see commercials for restaurants that aren't even in your area?
Probably

07. what's your opinion on wearing animal fur, skin, leather, etc.?
It's murder. I don't object so hard to leather, somehow. Probably 'cause cows at least are eaten.

08. when you eat blow pops do you chew the gum afterwards?
I don't eat blow pops. I hate the smell of bubblegum.

09. what's your least favorite flavor of candy?
Grape

10. do you know anyone who has been struck by lightening before?
No

11. which is worse: living where there's lots of tornadoes or lots of hurricanes?
I'd assume hurricanes, with all the flooding and stuff, but I'm no expert

12. do you prefer baths with or without bubbles?
I don't do baths. Showers. No bubbles.

13. do you know anyone who actually takes "sex bracelets" seriously?
Sex bracelets? What? Am I just getting old?

14. have you ever thought your pet was dead but really wasn't?
No

15. what would you do if you had the world to yourself for a day?
Travel to all the places on my bucket list. Hold conversations in every language I have at least a rudimentary grasp of. And make some hot guys fall for me, hang out with them. Not at the same time.

16. would you consider becoming a stripper if it was the only way to support your child?
I don't want a child and no I probably wouldn't

17. do you take anything for your cramps during that time of month?
No

18. are you good at remembering little details?
Eh sometimes

19. what do you think you'd be better at: being an artist or a musician?
Artist

20. besides seeing the boy/girl you like, what else gives you butterflies?
Hmmmm, I guess a vacation to a place I'm really looking forward to seeing?

***

Have you done a lot this summer?
No.

Do you have the same friends that you did last year?
Almost

How do you know the last person you texted?
They're a tutoring client

Are you good at picking out gifts?
Depends on the recipient

Have you ever taken your boyfriend on vacation with you and your family?
No

Do you act differently around the person you like?
Yes, but not intentionally

Do you keep things under your bed?
No

Are you in a good mood?
No

What do you think of hickeys?
Nothing

Has anyone ever given you a compliment on your butt?
Yes

What don't you like about where you live?
You won't see the aurora borealis except once in a blue moon and if you blink you'll miss it. Boo. Also, rush hour traffic is horrible. We need a more extensive bus service, and the metro needs to get up and running sooner.

What were you doing at 11:00 last night?
Reading

Is there someone you don't really like right now?
Yes

Do you like thunderstorms?
I used to a lot more. Eventually I'll like them as much again.

Who is the shadiest person you know?
Dunno

Can you hold a handstand for a long time?
No

Would your parents kill you if you got pregnant?
No

Were you dating the last person you had sex with?
Yes

Do you tell your friends you love them?
I'm not very effusive like that.

Have your looks changed a lot over the years or have you stayed the same?
Stayed the same

What is the shortest time it took you to fall in love with someone?
I get attached more easily than I like to admit, but falling in love? Four months?

Do you think a lot of things are awkward?
Yes

(no subject)
Tiana
maynardsong
1. Your name: Kripa
2. All the places you’ve lived: Michigan, Culpeper, Reston, Herndon, Charlottesville, Thane, Buenos Aires
3. Your first best friend: Lauren
4. Your childhood fears: dogs, drowning
5. What you were like in high school: socially awkward
6. Your favourite and least favourite subjects at school: favorite-- band in middle school, pre-calc, French, Spanish, Comparative Politics 101, Portuguese, anthropology, stat in grad school, repro health, government and public policy (Professor Janine Davidson's class); least favorite-- tech ed, International Trade and War, American Economic History, macroeconomics
7. Your first boyfriend or girlfriend: Nick, 8th grade.
8. Your oldest hobby: drawing Disney princesses
9. Your sexuality: straight? although lately, feels like I'm ace.
10. What you look for in a partner: Besides aesthetics? A sense of humor, fidelity, honesty, desire to travel.
11. Your kids, or your feelings about having kids: Not interested in having kids.
12. Your pets, past and present: I've won goldfish at the elementary school fun fair, and I had a hermit crab once. All dead.
13. Foods you love and foods you hate: I love guacamole and most local and seasonal produce. I love raw honey, dark chocolate, paneer makhani, any Indian fish curry, any kind of jal-frezi, goat cheese, eggs with Harissa sauce. I hate bananas even though I appreciate how good they are for you. I'm not a fan of coconut water even though that's also REALLY good for you - it will literally save and protect your guts in many parts of the world. (Gonna have to get over that when I go to India...) I hate buttermilk.
14. What your life was like ten years ago: riddled with anxiety. but can I have a time machine to take it back to that point?
15. How much alcohol you drink: almost none, unless I go out with friends.
16. Your worst illness: Delhi belly
17. What you do at work: tutor kids, substitute teach
18. A question or comment people should never make to you: Uh, don't make sexist and racist and homophobic, etc., comments to me. Oh, and don't diss Harry Potter or most YA or juvenile stuff. Although I suppose Twilight is fair game.
19. The style of clothing you feel most comfortable in: graphic tees layered over a long sleeve tee, jeans, Converse sneakers
20. Whether you’re an extrovert or an introvert: A little bit of both.
21. Who you have a crush on: The guy playing Gloss in Catching Fire.
22. A friendship you lost: Can we not?
23. Three achievements you’re proud of: My education. Um...I've written some creative pieces. And I've had LTEs published in a few newspapers.
24. Your political views: Green, I suppose.
25. Your religious beliefs: Hindu?
26. Your perfect night out: A hot guy approaches me with interest?
27. Whether you like to plan ahead or be spontaneous: Both.
28. What you look for in a friend: someone who is not judgemental, can laugh at themselves and have fun, and who shares at least a few similar interests
29. Whether you’re a night owl or a morning lark: such a night owl.
30. How you would like people to remember you: fondly!

Star Crossed Lovers Are Magic Part III
Tiana
maynardsong
The Canterpulets’ house. Fluttershy is with her animal friends.

Fluttershy: Oh, why’d Roan-eo have to be a Mount-ague? Why’d I have to be a Canterpulet? Why are ponies’ names so important anyway?

Roan-eo: Giaralet, I don’t care that our families hate each other. I want to be with you. Will you marry me?

Fluttershy: Oh yes. When and where?

Roan-eo: At nine tomorrow morning at the Carousel Boutique? That good?

Fluttershy: I can’t wait.

Wipe to present

Sweetie Belle: And then what happened? Did they live happily ever after? sighs dreamily

Apple Bloom: They just met and they already want to get married? What the hoof?

Twilight Sparkle: has read ahead Um...they...they got married and both their families found out about it and they realized they needed to stop fighting and everyone lived happily ever after. The end.

Scootaloo: Boring!

Spike: Well, actually it starts getting interesting when -

Twilight: Yup. Very boring. They live happily ever after. glares at Spike

To be continued? Maybe?

Star Crossed Lovers Are Magic Part II
Tiana
maynardsong
at the Canterpulets' house

Prince Blueblood: Mr. Canterpulet, I have come to request your daughter’s hoof in marriage.

Lord Canterpulet: Giaralet? But she’s just a filly.

Blueblood: I know she’s young, but even younger fillies than she are happier broodmares made.

Lord Canterpulet: dubious face

Blueblood: And I’m rich.

Lord Canterpulet: Tempting, but...no, not today. But hey, come to my party tonight! It’s a costume party!

wipe to Fluttershy's room, with Fluttershy as Giara-let (Juliet), Rainbow Dash as the Nurse, and Rarity as Lady Canterpulet

Fluttershy: You called, Mom?

Rarity: This is the matter - Nurse, give leave a while...no wait, come back! - My daughter’s of a pretty age. Giaralet, you’re old enough to marry now. Are you excited about that?

Fluttershy: Um...not really.

Rarity: Oh darling, you’re not getting any younger. And Prince Blueblood himself has asked for your hoof in marriage. Such a stallion! And with all the riches! and he’d share it with you. What do you have to lose, darling?

Rainbow Dash: Nothing, she’d gain, ‘cause mares grow by stallions. Ha!

Rarity: Oh, you. Now, Giaralet, could you like Blueblood? He’ll be at our party tonight.

Fluttershy: Um, I guess...if you say so.

Rarity: Marvelous. exits

Rainbow Dash: Come on, don’t worry about it. Just have fun tonight, all right?

Wipe to Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Roan-eo

Roan-eo: I had this weird dream the other night...

Pinkie Pie: Oh oh! Queen Mustang’s been with you!

Applejack: Don’t -

Roan-eo: Queen Mustang?

Applejack: -ask.

Pinkie Pie: She comes galloping ‘round all Equestria and messes with everypony’s dreams. [insert more Queen Mabustang shenanigans here]

Applejack: Oh hey, look, we're at the party!

Roan-eo and Fluttershy see each other and fall in love.

Rainbow Dash: Hey, your mom’s looking for you.

She pulls away a reluctant Fluttershy.

RD: That’s Roan-eo, and he’s a Mount-ague.

Roan-eo: Oh no, she’s a Canterpulet. :(

Applejack: All right, it’s been a blast, but it’s time for us to mosey on home now! She grabs Pinkie Pie and Roan-eo and they exit.

Roan-eo: No, wait, I need to go back there and take care of something. He goes back.

Pinkie Pie: Oh you were right, Benfillia! He did forget all about Rhineland!

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